In a country where the ballot options are 'Yes' or 'Please don't shoot me', that 0.07% is seen by the regime not as a statistic, but as a system error that must be purged. On the contrary, he has a broken heart. While any politician in the world would sell their soul for 51%, Kim seems to be having an existential crisis over that tiny 0.07% who did not mark his name on the ballot. His statements have made it clear that this is not a power issue, but a matter of feelings: Kim admitted to feeling 'hurt' by the lack of affection from that handful of citizens. 'It's not that there's no freedom of expression,' some users joke on social media, 'it's just that Kim offers a very, very personalized customer service for those who are not satisfied.' In what can only be described as the biggest political drama of the season, the supreme leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, has achieved a 'tight' electoral victory of 99.93%. But don't be fooled by the confetti: the leader is not celebrating. Far from ignoring them, he has promised to 'do everything possible to find them'. According to him, he wants to 'convince them' to change their minds. (A process that, we suspect, will hardly involve romantic dinners or televised debates). For international analysts, this is the political equivalent of a toxic boyfriend checking your Instagram likes.
